“so, how are things with you and carter?”
“how are things with you and the whores?”
“whoa, ouch.  watch it, or i’ll unplug treddy.”
”(glares indirectly at josh)  you wouldn’t.”
“i would.  now tell me, how are things?”
”(smiles)  they’re good.  really good.”
”(makes an ‘oh’ face)  you like him!”
”(laughs and nods)  obviously, asshat.” 

(via josh-0)

“she told you she loved you?  (on the verge of cracking up)”
“yes.  and before she could finish saying that, i hung up.”
“you hung up on her?!  oh, good lord, i love you! (cracks up)” 

(Source: loveactually)

“don’t laugh.  don’t do it.  don’t smile.  this is serious business, this murder mystery party.  someone died, cate!  don’t laugh.  someone was clobbered to death, by a giant black dildo!”
”(cracks up and covers face)  fucking asshat.” 

(Source: loveactually)