some jokes i have learned and enjoyed tonight:

thegreencondom:

Hottie Body Hump Club (via JimmyKimmelLive)

I never thought I would love Jimmy Kimmel more than I already do. And can my life just be gifs of Minka Kelly doing humpilates?

(via namedthedogindiana-deactivated2)


“Look, this whole ‘showing up out of nowhere’ thing. It just makes me a little. Scared.”
“Oh, ohhh. The wittle baby is skerd!”
“I’m serious.”
“No. What would be scary is saying, Oh by the way, from prom night? We have a kid.”

“Look, this whole ‘showing up out of nowhere’ thing. It just makes me a little. Scared.”

“Oh, ohhh. The wittle baby is skerd!”

“I’m serious.”

“No. What would be scary is saying, Oh by the way, from prom night? We have a kid.”

(Source: victormancini, via victormancini)


“Gross.”
“What are you doing?”
“I think I sat on something. And I don’t think I want to know what it is.”
“Alright. Okay. I’m going to walk outside, come back in, and you can greet me like a normal person. Instead of someone who needs to invest heavily in hand sanitizer.”
“Who are you?”

“Gross.”

“What are you doing?”

“I think I sat on something. And I don’t think I want to know what it is.”

“Alright. Okay. I’m going to walk outside, come back in, and you can greet me like a normal person. Instead of someone who needs to invest heavily in hand sanitizer.”

“Who are you?”

(Source: victormancini, via victormancini)


“Are you asking me out on a date? I’ve been getting a lot of sun, lately, but I think that’s the guys whole thing.”
“I think the sun has gone to your head. Why would I be interested in asking you out?”
“Well, we’ve got that whole - slept together on prom night - thing.”
“Sweetheart, that doesn’t mean that I like you. That means I was one of two things,” leaning in, whispering, “drunk or horny. In fact,” smiling sweetly, “it was probably both.”

“Are you asking me out on a date? I’ve been getting a lot of sun, lately, but I think that’s the guys whole thing.”

“I think the sun has gone to your head. Why would I be interested in asking you out?”

“Well, we’ve got that whole - slept together on prom night - thing.”

“Sweetheart, that doesn’t mean that I like you. That means I was one of two things,” leaning in, whispering, “drunk or horny. In fact,” smiling sweetly, “it was probably both.”

(Source: victormancini, via victormancini)


“Dude, do you wanna borrow my vest, dress up as the crossing guard?”
“What?”
“I mean, she’s got this totally hot soccer mom thing going on over there. I bet she knows a little,” hip thrust, “If you know what I’m saying.”
“Dude, please stop talking. And if she walks over here. Leave. Forever.”

“Dude, do you wanna borrow my vest, dress up as the crossing guard?”

“What?”

“I mean, she’s got this totally hot soccer mom thing going on over there. I bet she knows a little,” hip thrust, “If you know what I’m saying.”

“Dude, please stop talking. And if she walks over here. Leave. Forever.”

(Source: victormancini, via victormancini)

minka kelly and rachael taylor might be 2/3 of the new charlie’s angels

we are lovewe are hatewe are the feeling i get when you walk awaywalk away

cate asked: minka kelly/chris pine (the golden state - john doe)

we are love
we are hate
we are the feeling i get when you walk away
walk away

cate asked: minka kelly/chris pine (the golden state - john doe)


i pictured you in the sun wondering what went wrongand falling down on your knees asking for sympathyand being caught in between all you wish for and all you needand trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe

cate asked: minka kelly/stana katic (in the sun - joseph arthur)

i pictured you in the sun wondering what went wrong
and falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
and being caught in between all you wish for and all you need
and trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe

cate asked: minka kelly/stana katic (in the sun - joseph arthur)


only a girl - but there’s something about heronly a girl - so he can’t live without herand why?i probably wish she was mine

cate asked: minka kelly/sophia bush (only a girl - locksley)

only a girl - but there’s something about her
only a girl - so he can’t live without her
and why?
i probably wish she was mine

cate asked: minka kelly/sophia bush (only a girl - locksley)